Humiliation and how to deal with it 如何对待耻辱

陈小将

耻辱可能会伤害我们，但到底什么是耻辱，它是如何产生的？本期 “随身英语” 讨论耻辱对人的影响以及应对它的方式。
词汇：humiliation 耻辱
Humiliation. Many of us have experienced it, right? That horrific feeling of just wanting the ground to open up and swallow us. It’s an awful sensation when someone decides to belittle us and make us feel small. But what is humiliation, and how can we move on from it?
Humiliation is quite often compared to the feeling of shame. However, the fundamental difference is that we feel shame is deserved, while humiliation is not. It has more in common with bullying and harassment. Neel Burton M.D says that humiliation results from undermining claims that you have made, such as “I’m good at my job”, and challenges your authority to make such claims in future.
Imagine your colleague shocks you by unfairly calling you out on your work during a meeting with your boss. Or your friend may demean you by questioning your expertise in a hobby or interest in front of your other friends.  The presence of others is the key factor in humiliation – a public dressing-down. It also has so many forms and uses in society. Public humiliation is often said to act as a crime deterrent, while it also has a place in comedy. You may enjoy watching a celebrity being roasted: a humiliation designed to highlight faults for comedic effect.
So, how can you deal with it? According to psychologist Robert J. Sternberg, there are a few steps you can take. First, you must accept the humiliation and realise you’re not the only one who has felt like this – talk to others who have experienced it and move on. Also, don’t immediately try and strike back for ‘round 2’ – often humiliation isn't personal. 
Lastly, resilience seems to be crucial. Some people say: “What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”. While humiliation probably won’t kill you, it can hurt. Why not use the degradation as motivation to become a better worker or learn more about that hobby or interest? It could be an opportunity to start investing more in doing something you love. That way it may have an unexpected benefit.