Dealing with grief 如何面对悲伤的情绪

陈小将

当我们所爱的人离我们而去后，我们会感到极度悲伤，会经历一种无法抗拒的痛苦和空虚感。当他人希望我们接受现实，继续生活的时候，我们往往仍沉浸在悲伤中，不愿面对未来。本文讨论敞开心扉，与他人分享自己感受的益处。
词汇：grief 悲伤
If there is one thing in life that we could choose not to experience, it is the death of someone we love. Losing a friend or family member is heartbreaking and hard to accept, but how we deal with it, and how we ‘move on’, varies from person to person.
Death is, of course, inevitable, but sometimes we feel the passing of a loved one has come too soon. Our first reaction is to grieve, and even though we may soon be encouraged to accept closure and let go, the grieving can last a while. But grief is a very natural, human response to loss and can take the form of many unexpected emotions, from shock to guilt, anger and disbelief.
When someone dies, we may be tempted to put on a brave face and hide our feelings. But experts say that this is the time to talk about feelings – even cry and sob and show people you are suffering. There’s nothing wrong with trying to keep the memory of the deceased alive. You can talk to them in your head, write them a letter or share memories with other people who knew them.
Some people have chosen to make a more permanent reminder of someone by getting a memorial tattoo. Dr John Troyer from Bath University told the BBC: “You can have a continuing bond with the dead… I think it’s a very important way for people to come to terms that someone’s left.”
Whatever approach you take to grieving and to keeping someone’s memory alive, eventually the physical aching and pain caused by the loss of a loved one will subside. But the memories of that person and the times we shared can stay with us forever, and talking about them and expressing your feelings is all part of the healing process. But as singer and songwriter Patti Smith told the BBC: “Loss is something that we never get over.”