love and friendship 爱情与友谊

陈小将

词汇：love and friendship 爱情与友谊
Breaking up is hard to do – or so some people say. If you’re in a relationship but not as loved-up as you once were, when is the right time to call it a day? The longer the relationship, the harder it can be. But once you do make the break, is it still possible to maintain a friendship with your ex-partner?
When you’ve been dumped, the classic line that’s often used is ‘let’s just be friends’. That can be either wishful thinking or something to soften the blow of bad news. However, when you fell madly in love with your partner all those weeks, months or years ago, it would have been hard to imagine you’d fall out of love. And so salvaging something from that time, and remaining friends, could be a good thing to do.
It’s good if a break-up is amicable – it avoids the hate, pain and anger that can eat away at us and affect our mental health. If you can accept you’ve had some good times but it’s time to move on, then all the better – besides, you won’t have to cancel your ex-partner from social media or delete their name from your contacts! If you can appreciate the mutual interests you had then there’s no reason why you can’t continue a platonic relationship.
But holding onto the past and staying friends doesn’t always work – you just have to accept you and your partner just weren’t compatible, therefore it’s best to give each other space, to look forward, and try to get any romantic feelings you once had out of your system. And according to some, staying friends with your ex isn’t a good option. Marie-Claire Chappet told the BBC, “It does nothing but prolong the pain of the break-up”.
Helen Fisher, a neurologist at the Kinsey Institute who’s been studying the psychology in relationships, also told the BBC: “The way to accelerate mending a broken heart is similar to treating addiction – you put away their things, stop looking at their social media and have no contact with them.”
So, maybe it’s time to get in touch with your real friends, instead of seeking friendship with ‘a ghost from the past’.